There are certain things that are not meant to be known, in the time being. Certain details or missing pieces of a puzzle called "life" that do not want to be found. Everything relies on timing and trust. A kind of trust that you let your instinct be the boss of you. Women have a very high voltage, explosive, intuition. It's a little scary sometimes but so does men and that is the only thing you should go by when it comes to making your decisions; intuition and life.
I have about nine diaries that I've written for the last ten years of my life, I would be devastated if someone would ever read them, not because there are things that nobody on this planet knows but more because It's a written encyclopedia of all my emotions, feelings and thoughts that are probably sometimes assumed by the people around me...Although we all have secrets, don't we?
Once I left my diary open in my bedroom and my mom was picking up my laundry, when I realized that I had left it there, I rushed to grab it as if it were a timed bomb. My mom starred at me with a blank look on her face and sat me down. She told me something valuable that I'll never forget:
Her father used to read her diaries and she had felt so much pain and intrusion into her privacy that she decided she had to take action and bury her diaries by the sea where she grew up. Her regret was not only that she was scarred for life because someone had shattered her freedom but also that she had never been able to find them again...she lost them. That's when she said to me that even with the diary being open on the table, she would never even glance to read. She would never disrespect the right that I have, the right of having a silent voice to myself and also that I shouldn't do that to anyone.
Searching, digging, looking for information that you think you "need" to evaluate a person's loyalty or sincerity is not going to help you, if anything it'll destroy you.
First of all, things can get misinterpreted as in the context or the history between two individuals. Second, let's say you find something very infuriating...what are you going to say? "Hey I looked through your phone and found this...." the only thing you'll get out of it is looking psycho. Even if you keep it for yourself, can you imagine the pain, frustration and anxiety that will inflict on you? Third, you should trust the person you're with. It's not called denial just trust and if you don't, then you have another problem.
There is a beautiful law that the universe has put out there for us which is that everything comes out one day...one day or another a little detail will be that missing piece and enlighten you for the best or for the worst. Use what is given to you, don't steal from others privacy for what you think is for your well being.
The two times in my life where I had doubts about the individuals I had put my trust in, I had my answers served on a golden platter, right there for me to see without even trying, in time, I had my exit sign.
Things basically come naturally and that's what you have to believe. Be more powerful for yourself and to others to know whatever and whoever is meant to be, will be, or not, and that's okay.