Let's imagine changing who we are was as easy as walking into a store across the street, well, let's just say we would all look alike because what we want is always the same thing: perfection. What is perfection? and why are we getting so obsessed with it? I think that the magazines, facebook and instagram are quite the little demons in this generation.
The truth is all of the magazines and social media are an embellishment of what we think our lives "should be" and that is really sad, our life shouldn't be or should be a certain way. We should just live our lives the way we want without having society telling us we don't live it the right way. It's quite difficult to run away from the desire to be prettier, skinnier, wealthier, happier, funnier, healthier, hotter...when that's all we see. It's like a frozen meal beautifully placed in a plate that makes your mouth water because it looks appealing and... that's about it.
Social media has become a measuring scale for beauty & some, It's really hard to compete, practically impossible. The superwoman and superheroes on my feed are out of this world, hey buddy, you ever get any pimples? hey girl, you ever get bloated...like ever? a little? are you even human? that's what crosses my mind at times. I'm actually quite aware that who I am, will never change. Yes, i'd love to be taller...damn it, I should've had more soup growing up...oh and my hips..they are like these students that attended school E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y. bitches be present! what can I say? I love my bread, and Photoshop makes me want to give it up sometimes...NO! I SAY NO!
Basically, our virtual life is so damn perfect, I mean if we didn't know any better we'd assume you're never working, making tons of money, living in the Caribbeans 11 months on 12, you never gain weight, you sure don't have hormonal issues and you got the perfect relationship on a 365 days basis. I mean shit, what's your secret?
For instance, some instagram accounts are very impressive, take @hunnies_allure, amazing account regrouping all the most gorgeous girls of the instagram...well, go ahead and swim in paradise but ladies, don't ever feel self-conscious or not beautiful enough to truly be yourself. With that said I have asked the owner of the page, the one known as Mr. Grey ;) to give his view as he is well aware of how social media portrays body image:
Body image is a complicated aspect of the self-concept that concerns an individual's perceptions and feelings about their body and physical appearance (Cash & Pruzinsky, 2002) Now, I consider myself aptly positioned to view such a shrouded topic- I mean- I'm a male, run a successful Instagram page and sex, it sells right? 2014 has seen an explosion of the need to 'fit in' and conversely, an implosion of confidence and expectations.
I meet women of different ilk, different shapes and different sizes- and I can honestly say that most males won't know the 'perfect' shape....simply because there are so many damn variables! Shit, remember when Victoria's Secret said Kate Upton was too "fat" to model for them? Now voted sexiest woman alive- Seems the so called experts got it very wrong.
Women: you need to remember that you won't be everyone's taste, hell why would you want to be?! Do I like fit bodies? Yes I do because I am an avid weight trainer but I am also a fan of anyone that looks after their health - the sexiness comes from confidence and how YOU project it. IG is littered with implants, butt fillers and the like- I have nothing at all against them but to assume you will achieve results with a magic pill or one exercise is naive to say the least. If you look in the mirror and feel insecure- that's fine, we all do- Porn has guys thinking only a lamppost for a penis will suffice your everyday partner- See what I mean? The question is what you do about it. Worrying about how a paid model looks in her pics will only lead to a pool of anxiety and probable psychosis (studies prove this) when you know its the pic chosen from 20 selfies taken at that time!
I've seen this blog owner with and without makeup and I can assure you- as a guy I was refreshed to see how pretty a face could be left natural- so know this- you are stunning as standard, you're obligation is to you yourself, to become the best version of yourself for YOU!
Sex sells in the short run...confidence will sell itself long term.
Mr. Grey. @Hunnies_allure
The standard of beauty is having a very flat stomach, huge boobs, long skinny legs, skull looking-like cheekbones and big fat lips... what would Audrey Hepburn say?
Now, a lot of girls do look like that, some are highly criticized, one said " I know i'm not everyone cup of tea and that's okay." I agree with her, although my thought is, what pushed you to get double D'S in the first place? I can't imagine growing up and naturally wanting two huge balloons graft on my upper body unless it came from a false very convincing influence that the new generation is surrounded by.
Bottom line, perfection comes in different flavors, indeed, although no one actually looks like there retouched, filtered, angled picture and I have pictures on my own account where I even surprise myself! ha! well, look at that! I don't look the same at all when I wake up or when I walk down the street! believe me. I am damn photogenic, i'll give you that but so are all these girls and guys. Some of us are blessed in a lot of different aspects but that doesn't make you less or better than anyone in this world to the point of changing yourself to look pretty much like plastic. Learn to love yourself, the real you, the natural you. People will admire you more for being you than trying to be something you're not. You don't need to tweak your appearance because of a snapshot of someone's reality, imagine all the things that a single snapshot can hide.
J. & Mr. Grey
Here's a few of my favorite that I use daily to keep a natural look:
Agreeing to an imaginary "contract" with your significant other is always a little nerve wracking, that's why trust is a huge percentage of the transaction. Without trust in yourself and in your partner, your relationship is doomed. The imaginary contract is pretty much common sense: respect, no lies, no cheating and just be there for one another. That's pretty basic although sometimes things can get a little tangled, confusing or misinterpreted and we start looking into things to "protect" our relationship, or so we think we are protecting it.
It's really important to learn how to read situations and know which ones are a threat to you or not, although you have no control over your partner and that is important to understand.
What you have control over is YOU! what you have to offer and the life you create for the both of you. This is what I mean by knowing your worth, If someone wants to be with you, there are a million reasons why they made the commitment and some are unexplainable because it's a subconscious factor that links you to many different aspects that makes him feel alive when he's with you: Your scent, your aura, your voice, your skin. Basically, it's you and that's it.
With that said, there's no point in being the police with your other half because bottom line, if he or she wants to ruin things, the life you have, everything that is offered and given with love...well it's really on them. Yes, it hurts and yes you will survive. Just know you worth by being the best you can be for your partner and wish them to find someone like you again if they ever decide to cross the line. Life works in mysterious ways and there's no going around that, Karma is also a pretty sweet devious baby and the truth always comes out, no matter how hidden it wants to be.
Don't waste your time in looking for things that can go wrong or people that can come between the two of you. If you are in a hurtful situation, communication is the way to go but be careful to not create that situation yourself. If you truly trust your other half, you should own the serenity that they will not hurt you. Nothing and no one is more of a threat than yourself. It's not the easiest advice to go by but it does eliminate a lot of stress and anxiety.