The less you say the better. It's like a flour-less chocolate cake, every bites are assured to be safe. Communication has become the exact same thing: How to make-a-point-by-not-really-making-a-point. The today's dating lifestyle is a battlefield of excuses and made up "typical" answers that has given the green light to individuals to lie, and apparently it's okay! People are scared to elaborate their feelings or give directions on what was initially the "problem." It's really time to stop playing games and create non superficial grounds with whoever you're dealing with. We are given words and other communication tools to express ourselves. DO IT! So here are the six most heard of excuses that makes me want to pull my hair out :
Let's be crystal clear on this one, that's some serious bull-cow-shit. You were busy getting born honey. We are all busy, that's normal and healthy. No one is too busy to just make at the least 30 minutes for a coffee, a walk, a drink, whatever floats your boat. The truth is you are not busy per say for that person, you are just unsure if you'd like to change your perfect routine. Making time for someone is giving up on doing something that might sound better to you. Now, if that's the case, that means that you are simply not interested. Again, that's okay. The excuse "i'm busy" is leaving someone rejected but who might still have a chance in 24 hours once you're done with your gym, runyon and audition for web series. The problem with that? well, the guy or the girl will text, call, facebook, instagram or email back a day later and you'll roll your eyes "oh my gawsshh she's/he's crazy she/he won't leave me alone." Well, when did ever make that clear, in a normal communicative way that you did not want to see that them? You didn't.
WHAT TO SAY: be honest in a polite, gentle way and express why you don't want to hangout. "your nose is too big bitch" is tots the way to go. Jokes.
This I believe, is a typical LA thing because as much as I've traveled and been introduced to different dating cultures, this is unheard of anywhere else. The ghost is the girl or the guy who decided to disappear because he can't handle breaking things off. Usually that happens within two weeks or less after meeting that new person. It is unfortunate that it is an added anxiety to deal with on top of getting to know someone, that's what leads to clingy people because of the fear of disappearance if they had experienced it in the past. The problem with ghosting is that it's unfinished business and unanswered questions. It's very disrespectful to not give someone an explanation, we all owe that to the person who needs to know what happened. Beyond the fact the possibility that something bad happened to you, not answering at all-ever- is a very coward move. pick up your damn phone and say you're not interested. done.
that doesn't make any sense unless you're a complete mess, drug addict, suicidal, murderer blah blah blah and yet I'd still be willing to stick around and try to put your pieces together. Never allow someone tell you you're too good for them, it's cute but no thanks. They're either pushing you away cause they don't want to be with you, in that case communicate so the person can walk away. On the other hand, they might be scared to be bad for you cause they're not in the right place in their life. Well you need to explain and not make that decision for them. You never know, but with a little sharing of how you feel, you might find a very loyal person.
With a behavior change in treating others, it can go a long way and the majority of people will stop complaining of how hard it is to find someone to date. At the end of the day, loving and trusting someone is what we're all looking for. Loneliness has never been a cool thing. Don't be afraid to say how you feel, it's a life changing experience of being able to be yourself and say exactly what you mean. You'll learn so much about who you are, what you need and what you want.